Simple Ways on How to Not Let Toxic People Affect You
Who are toxic people?
Ever notice some people are just always talking negatively about others? Judging, gossiping, never seeming to be happy. They seem to be portraying themselves as the victim in any situation. This my friend, is a toxic person. They come in all shapes and sizes. And unfortunately, they can be anyone from close relatives, your very own partner, friends, coworkers, parents and neighbors in your community. It is important to notice and be conscious of this type of behavior because if you surround yourself with toxic people then you yourself can become tired, stressed, and even start to become toxic yourself. It’s like a virus, it spreads!
I have come across
My fair share of toxic people in my life. It’s always been a kind of Oh NO! Kind of feeling and usually leaving me feeling just wrong. But thanks to all those experiences, I have been able to see it before I get too involved. I have found it helpful to observe vs attaching to there emotions. Creating healthy boundaries and staying out of negative gossip are also great ways to keep your happiness intact. As a bestselling author, Don Miguel Ruiz in the book The Four Agreements; would say, “Don’t take anything personally!” And by doing this, you can literally watch a toxic person come and go without it affecting your life.
So, What Makes a Person Toxic?
Toxic people display certain behaviors which can create an unhealthy relationship when in connection with that person. It like that saying that moms always tell their kids, you become who you hang out with. Many times toxic people have not been able to heal from there past traumas. They may have experienced some sort of abuse and are in a cycle of “I am a victim” type of mentality. They can be manipulative, controlling, narcissistic, overly critical, jealous and unhappy at other people’s success.
Why stay away from toxic people
Because Stress Sucks!
Being around toxic people can create unnecessary levels of stress. They seem to be unconscious of how they are impacting others negatively and rather enjoy conflict and chaos. According to an NIH article, 5 things that you should know about stress; when a source of stress becomes constant it can reduce the functioning of your immune, digestive, sleep, and reproductive system…” Routine stress can contribute to more problematic health issues like; heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, anxiety, and depression. Stress can also affect your brain, how it functions and can also damage your neurons which are necessary for proper brain cell communication. So if these aren’t enough reasons to stay away then here is another one
Exhaustion and Loss of Energy
We all need our energy especially if you’re a parent like me. My energy is already being dispersed in many directions as it is and the last thing I need is a toxic relationship. Toxic people can leave us drained and unhappy while they are refueling themselves. They are what Sherrie Carter Psy.D would call an energy vampire. They are intrusive, have no boundaries, dramatic, overly critical, complain, argumentative, negative and unable to accept responsibility.
Let’s not let that happen
- Use Logic vs Emotion. In not getting emotionally involved, you can become unattached to a toxic person and avoid their roller coaster ride. Thinking logically about the situation can really save your energy and time. Possibly even limit their exposure to you since you won’t be engaging in their shenanigans. They will soon look at you as boring since you are not engaging in there drama and move on.
- Stay aware– by staying aware and conscious of how you feel around a toxic person, you can decide whether or not that is something that you enjoy. Once you realize it is something that you do not like, then you can find those people that bring joy. You will be able to attract more non-toxic people once you know what you like.
- Create Boundaries– Boundaries can really set the limits in the relationship. You just have to stick with them. If you don’t like how you are being treated, then make it known. It is perfectly fine to walk away, and or redirect the conversation. You can even ask questions like “so what is it that makes you happy?” or “what are ways that we can fix it?” or even making a statement of gratitude like, “wow, I’m thankful for….” This way, the toxic person will be forced to either stop engaging with there topics and realize that you’re not interested. Perhaps, it might even get them thinking about the questions that you propose, helping them in the long run
In the end, it up to you. So hopefully, this was helpful in some way or another. Feel free to share your thoughts, comment, re-post on social media and sign up for our newsletter, so you can get the latest updates. Ta Ta
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